Lingering in Lament After the Orlando Massacre

As many of you know, 49 victims were killed and many more were injured in a shooting at Pulse Orlando, a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida.

 

Even as we learn their names, we mourn for the victims:

Edward Sotomayor Jr
Stanley Almodovar III
Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo
Juan Ramon Guerrero
Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera
Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz
Luis S. Vielma
Kimberly Morris
Eddie Jamoldroy Justice
Darryl Roman Burt II
Deonka Deidra Drayton
Alejandro Barrios Martinez
Anthony Luis Laureanodisla
Jean Carlos Mendez Perez
Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez
Amanda Alvear
Martin Benitez Torres
Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon
Mercedez Marisol Flores
Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado
Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez
Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez
Oscar A Aracena-Montero
Enrique L. Rios, Jr.
Miguel Angel Honorato
Javier Jorge-Reyes
Joel Rayon Paniagua
Jason Benjamin Josaphat
Cory James Connell
Juan P. Rivera Velazquez
Luis Daniel Conde
Shane Evan Tomlinson
Juan Chevez-Martinez
Jerald Arthur Wright
Leroy Valentin Fernandez
Tevin Eugene Crosby

Forty-nine people are dead (50 including the shooter). Families are grieving the loss of brothers, sons, daughters, mothers, and sisters. An entire city is mourning over what is the largest mass shooting in the history of the United States.

In faith, I hope the church isn’t remaining silent today. We can’t sit by, “righteously” removed from the loss of life that has happened. We must lead the charge to comfort, not condemn; to mourn, not ignore; to lament, not blame. We can’t allow others who are spewing hate and vitriol in the name of Jesus to poison this well. We need to speak slower, love harder, hug longer as we seek to silence those who preach a hate-filled pseudo-gospel.

We have a biblical mandate to grieve with those who grieve. There are the handful who immediately and openly proclaim that this tragedy is a result of sin or a lack of gun control or lax policing. There are others who retweet an article on the tragedy while harboring feelings that perhaps this end was well deserved. But I have been encouraged by the posts I’ve seen and the people I respect who are reaching out after the Orlando massacre—many of us refuse to fall into these traps as we recognize the value of each of those lives that have been lost.

With Charleston, S.C. as my hometown, when the shootings happened last year at Emanuel AME, I felt physical pain for days, and I wasn’t alone. Churches around the nation hosted vigils for the nine people who died. Believers wept and held each other, feeling deeply bonded over their loss. But yesterday we experienced another grave loss, 50 losses in fact. May we acknowledge that God beautifully and intentionally made each of these victims in His image. May we still faithfully attend the prayer vigils that will be held and weep with those who are weeping because we recognize that lives lost in a nightclub are no less valuable than those lost in a church.

Today I stand with those who are seeking to fill the void of love the church has often shown towards the gay community. Our grief cannot be curbed by disagreement or disapproval. Violence against the LGBTQ community must end, and we, who believe so fervently in the sanctity of human life, must champion this cause.

Now is the time to for the church to act as she should. Now is the time for reckless, radiant selflessness. Now is the time for deep, difficult lament. Too often we rush this part—we get grief wrong. Henri Nouwen once wrote that “the friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.” Teach us to lament, Lord. Teach us how to be uncomfortable and unsure as we wade through this debilitating darkness with others. Even after the 24-hour news cycle has passed, show us how to remember everything we’ve lost.

“Many people are looking for an ear that will listen,” writes Dietrich Bonhoeffer, “They do not find it among Christians, because these Christians are talking when they should be listening.” May we learn to love and listen. May Jesus come soon and heal this broken world filled with broken people. Until then, may His peace comfort us in the face of something so senseless, and may we comfort each other with the hope we have.

Have mercy, Jesus, and teach us what love looks like today.

**Published by Boundless.org**

Ice Cream Day!

Today is Ice Cream Day! Now, before you start and look up all the national days, I will stop you and say, "This is no national day. This is an international...nay, an intergalactic day. It is in fact Ice Cream Day and this is why: Six years ago today a beautiful baby girl was born. Her name was Rebecca Faith. She was born with a rare condition that caused difficulty. A year and half later she went Home to be with Jesus. Rebecca is my niece. Today, June 10th, we celebrate her life by eating ice cream because on her first and only birthday she was blessed to taste ice cream and loved it!!

This was a hard time for the family. But God is faithful and just and loved Rebecca more than anyone could ever know. She crawled right up into His heavenly lap and is waiting there for the rest of us. We miss her, but we never forget her. Life goes on, yes, but we remember the good times. God is in control at all times and we must have faith that everything will work out. He has reasons for every season.

Our lamentations aren't very long. They may not even exist because we know we will be reunited together in Heaven. We do lament, but we celebrate even more. We celebrate a life that was full of love and laughter. Rebecca is truly a faith child.

Would you join me in celebrating her today with a big bowl of your favorite ice cream? Yumm!

Beauty from Ashes

When I was in university, I was at a loss. I was at a loss of what to study. What did I want to do? Where did I want to go? I knew not the direction I was heading in. Mark Carter was my RD, my Resident Director. He was a great man of God and I loved hanging out with him and he was very supportive. His wife, Rebecca was the career counselor there at Simpson University in Redding, CA. She was the sweetest woman I knew. She was very helpful and played a huge roll in my college career. During my junior year and a big chunk of the following year, I met with Rebecca Carter to determine what course of study I wanted to do, which direction I wanted to go in. I prayed and prayed. We hashed out ideas after ideas and determined that Christian camping is where my heart was truly at. We became friends and I looked forward to our times together. She loved the Lord and made that her driving force behind what she did.

A year or two ago, I heard some devastating news that Rebecca lost a fight to cancer and went home to be with her Savior. She lost to cancer, but she won at life. She is now living with Jesus and living the best career anyone can hope for. Rebecca was an inspiration. She had this beauty and smile that just made you feel good about yourself. I will miss her and look forward to seeing her again soon.

As I met with her in her office, we finally determined that the major of "General Ministry" would be the best course of action for me. It was a mixture of youth ministry, missions and pastoral studies. Whereas I wanted to go into camp ministry, Simpson didn't offer a camping major which at the time I didn't know existed. Therefore, this general major made sense. The year I graduated they offered, "Outdoor Leadership," which I would've jumped at if it was offered earlier. But I was happy with general ministry but often hesitate when people ask me, even today what I studied in college. The reason for this being the generic nature of the major. It has "general" in it's name. There are some who focus on the "ministry" and wonder why I'm not using my major. I never wanted to be a pastor or minister, etc. But the general public misunderstand. Of course starting my own camp has been festering on the back burner for some time.

Rebecca Carter helped fuel the fire in me. She assisted me in finding out what I truly want. She played a pivotal part in my desire for children's ministry. One can wonder why she was taken when she was, but God has reasons and they are not our reasons. We may not understand, but we can believe and have faith and trust and obey. As hard as it is to believe, we can be assured that her work here was done and God took her home. Our work remains unfinished. And we will be reunited soon.

I thank you Rebecca for your love, for your service and for your willingness to help the least of these. You are missed. Your loving nature exudes magnificence and your beauty remains. I will always remember you and your faithfulness. I owe you many thanks. I miss you and grieve with Mark at your passing. But it's not a true passing, for we will see you again shortly...and discuss things of adoration. Talk to you soon sister. Go with God.

Running on Streets of Gold

I graduated high school in 2002. It is now 2016. Through my sophomore, junior and senior years of high school (2000-2001) I learned that my good friend from Elementary School, Cassandra Owens, Cassie to her friends was diagnosed with cancer.

I learned that she was wheelchair bound and lost a leg to cancer. She was in the newspaper and a friend who was on my cross country team knew her some as well. The reason was because Cassie was also a runner. When I knew her in grade school she was not a runner. In fact, we both didn't like to run at all. Now look at us. We were both runners. I regret losing contact with her because she was a great friend to me. She was the sweetest person you ever did meet.

Anyhow, a little while later, sometime in the beginning of the 2000s, she lost her life and was united with God in her Heavenly home. This news hurt. She lived for God. She loved to run. She ran for His pleasure. That was her joy. She wasn't ever a fast runner. I wasn't ever a fast runner. But we both enjoyed it. When Cassie was bound to the wheelchair, her dream was to be able to run again. I have faith and I know that when the Lord called her home, her first order of business was to strap on some Heavenly running shoes and hit the track...hit the track of gold. She is running on the streets of gold while conversing with her Lord.

Those of us who have not yet gone home wonder why. Why is it that the Lord has called her and not me? She was the most gentle person I knew of. She didn't have a mean bone in her body. She was on fire for the Lord and cared for the interests of others rather than herself. She lived in humility and I wish I could have known her in her later years here on earth, but I trust that she was living every second and running every second for Jesus Christ. I miss you Cassie and look forward to seeing you again soon.

As I lament here, I want to remember Cassandra Owens. I want to remember Cassie as who she was and who she is. There is a picture I have somewhere from Kindergarten graduation where Cassie and I are talking with each other. I wish I could find it and attach it. But let's just say I remember her well. She was kind, gentle and humbling. She was strong, courageous and I am sure she grew to be a daughter of God until she went to her House in the Heavenly Realms.

You are missed, but your legacy remains. See you soon my sister in Christ. See you soon Cassie.

To Remember a Friend

Jason, this evening I stood in a circle at the top of camp where you and I greeted campers as they arrived on the buses, listening to remembrances of your life as we spread your ashes in a place where your heart truly was. I have a lot of memories with you Jason, but I only got to know you the last 5 years of your life here on earth. Those 5 years will remain special. For every friendship you made was special. You knew how to love and how to care and make others feel loved. Listening to your family and close friends who knew you growing up, I couldn't help but wish I knew you earlier. But the Lord knows what He is doing when he puts people in each other's lives when He does and I will forever be grateful of that.

I have never been very great at making friends but you loved me as a brother and I miss that kind of friendship immensely. As I walk through this world and see activity on social media and witness encounters and conversations, it seems to me that generally speaking, people don't know how to love. This world is in a rush and they just want to get where they are going with no care about those around them. They waltz around like they are the center of the universe with no ears for others. That's what happens mostly. Then comes someone like you Jason. You knew how to love. You provided me with a new perspective on life. Those five years I knew you, I became a better person for it. I miss you and wish I knew more with your attitude about life. Then it hits me...what if I became that person? What kind of friend am I to others? The perspective you offered makes me wonder...wonder a lot. What am I doing with my life? How am I doing life? What will my legacy be like? What will I leave behind? How will I be remembered?

As I drove home this evening, I saw your memories through the beautiful sunset (while trying not to get blinded) on the horizon. Memories from camp, memories from La Perla, Gov Cup and hanging out...of road trips and conversations and watching cartoons. One memory stands out at camp: It was the summer where archery instructors had to be 21 or older and you and I had to teach archery pretty much all summer. One day at the end of the activity, you called over to me on the other side of the creek, "Wooly, I shot a shrew!" I was like, "What? What did you shoot?" as I slowly walked over to you across the creek. You took me to the hay bales and sure enough, you pulled out an arrow that had impaled a tiny mouse. "What do I do?" I wasn't sure either. No campers were around, so we decided to fling the little guy into the forest and call it a funeral. We wiped the blood from the arrow and walked back to camp.

Also, who can forget our bus buddies? You and I were the camp bus buddies! I'm not really sure how it started, but I remember us just walking over to the bus entrance to get away from the other staff who were normally talking stupid. So we would have our own pow wows in the morning while throwing rocks at the little reflectors across the way. Sometimes Salamander would join us, but we wouldn't allow anyone else. We had an alliance, you and I and it was a special one. We soon realized that the bus buddy program would die if we both left, so we created a written quiz. We had to make it difficult to weed out the dumb ones. Thus we put questions like, draw your favorite animal noise and what are some appropriate and inappropriate bus buddy conversation topics and what's your favorite camp song since we both were very opinionated when it came to that. Ah, the bus buddies. I look forward to the day I arrive in Heaven on a big yellow bus and I look out the window and see you and Jesus waving to me.

I remember the late night I had to pick my parents up from the airport and asked you to come with me. You jumped at the opportunity and we bonded over that trip. Ah the memories Jason. I remember the first time I met you...Family Work Camp 2006, right before we worked together that summer. I think you were teaching me the game of Flux or something. Shortly after this, you introduced me to your good friend Caleb. Ah, the good times indeed. I take heart in the fact that I will see you and talk to you soon and we will have good times...alas, better times again...

And lastly, of course we wanted to start our own camp together. Everyone else who I have mentioned this to looks at me weird or says some comment or just thinks I'm nuts. I have not yet met someone else to assist me in this endeavor, another partner-in-crime, but my journey continues. You can never be replaced, but I love the idea of doing this in your honor. Camp ministry was your heart as it is mine. That is a passion we shared. It is my hope and earnest prayer that we will see the bearing for fruit from this adventure.

You are gone from this planet, but never forgotten...

I will lament, the tears will periodically flow, but your strength and the memories you have left will remain...until I too am called Home.

"Menace Unaware" Revisited

"A Revisit to a tragic lament..."

Morgan Freeman's statement about these random shootings....

"You want to know why. This may sound cynical, but here's why.

It's because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single victim of Columbine? Disturbed people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he'll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody.

CNN's article says that if the body count "holds up", this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard while the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer's face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer's identity? None that I've seen yet. Because they don't sell. So congratulations, sensationalist media, you've just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next.

You can help by forgetting you ever read this man's name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem."

This man's words are so in tune with my own thoughts. I have watched the media coverage of the school shooting in Conneticut as well as the mall shooting in Portland, Oregon and in addition many may not know of the stabbing spree at a school in central China. There was also a threat of another school shooting that would happen on December 21st, the supposed date of the end of the world according to the Mayan calendar. How do we make sense of these happenings? Well, first of all, do we have to? The way I see it, there really is no clear explanation. There is no way to make sense. Yah, police and authorities conduct investigations and try to determine the motive, but how much does the motive matter? Will that really prevent another killer to storm a public square or school heavily armed? More importantly, will that bring back the lives of the victims? No, of course not.

As a friend of mine put it:

"As I too tried to make sense of today's entirely evil tragedy, I thought of two things. The first is this, "Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good." The second thing I pondered was how many people would say, "Next time one of these (insert any profanity you would like) decides to shoot some people I hope they just save us the trouble and kill themselves." I would like to stand against that mentality. I DO STAND AGAINST IT. Hate upon hate is not where we will find an answer to these atrocities. Instead I want to say, do say, and will say in Jesus' name, "I love you. Next time one of you wants to shoot someone, shoot me. I'll die for you." Only real, true, self-denying love will bring us any relief from the torent of evil which we find ourselves, our friends, and our children facing far too often these days."

I will stand with you.

"The nation of Israel has armed its teachers to protect their children and America has disarmed theirs." That is but one of the hundreds of posts on facebook that was released after the Sandy Hook massacre. Where there is some truth to these posts, I don't necessarily agree with the idea of sharing them with the whole online community. Sure, some things need to be said, but others need to be kept to yourself. The news media does similar things. After terrorist bombings and attacks such as 9/11, the media all but gave us the materials for bomb making. There is a line that must be drawn between reporting the news and retorting the news. Also, what some may deem "newsworthy" may not be. The shooting in Connecticut will be on the news and will be talked about for months to come, and yes, it must not be forgotten, I mean, we still hear about 9/11 which happened 11 years ago. However, let us forget about the killer(s), and rather, as Mr. Freeman pointed out, let us remember the victims and move on in light of recent happenings. I have refrained from joining the majority and posting yet another post on Facebook to the tune of "our hearts are broken," "gun control laws are not strict enough," "I cannot even imagine..." I am not making fun mind you. On the contrary, tears of anger and sadness welled in my eyes as I flipped from channel to channel reporting the tragedy on the east coast. I have no kids of my own, but I do have two nieces the ages of some of the victims and have worked with children of all ages for the past 16 years. So in light of recent events, I choose not to waste my energy to make sense of this. Some people say we now live in Hell. But I will say, we live on earth and that is where evil flourishes. Hell is not a place of evil. Hell is a place where people who deny Jesus Christ will end up, whether they are evil or not. I have also heard it said that "God is not allowed in schools, therefore He cannot influence the education system," or something to that effect. That is a bunch of rubbish. Nowhere has prayer been banned nor has God been banned. Did you even listen to that? God created the world, why would He create some place that He cannot enter? He was with me in public school and I prayed in public school. Sure, the system or government can use words to say we cannot pray or don't want religious activities to take place, but really, how do they monitor prayer without mind control technology? This is just laughable stuff.

Who are we to decide who should live and die? Do we deserve to die? Do killers deserve to die? Do schoolchildren deserve to die? The answer to both is yes. Both are human and that is a part of the human condition. The fact is the wages of sin, evildoings is death, but alas, we have a God who cares for us and does not want to see us die so He offered His Son in our place so we do not have to perish. Is man basically good or bad? Well, the answer if you have read your Bible is that man is basically bad. We all have the capacity for murder and we all have the capacity for kindness. But Jesus said it Himself, "No one is good but God alone." Yes there are people who believe that man is good until corrupted by society. My own brother denies the fact of a sin nature. This is not to say that we should all just give up and give in to what will happen. Yes, there are things we can do to take action and better prepare ourselves, but dang it...it is not God's fault that gunmen enter schools and theaters and kill innocent victims. For in the bigger scheme of things, no one is innocent. But we all live here together...maybe not in harmony, but we all live here in this vapor of a life.

Do I have an answer to make sense of all these things? No...I just know how to express my thoughts and leave it to others to form their own opinions and allegations. Too much time is spent questioning and too little time is spent living. I am as guilty as anyone. The meaning of most things, especially sacred things has been forgotten, diluted or misrepresented. This Christmas season is a perfect example...even to the extent that the government refers to Christmas trees as "holiday trees." Happy Holidays. Really? Who really says that about any other holiday? Labor Day? Memorial Day? Easter? Valentines' Day? Even secular tv shows that promote homosexuality, immoral acts, bullying, school and government corruption use Christmas songs with no clue of what the lyrics refer to such as First Noel, O Holy Night, etc. I was watching the news last night when Entertainment Tonight began with the report of the recent school shooting. I thought, why is an entertainment show reporting this? Well then it came. Several celebrities were reported as having "tweeted" or "facebooked" different comments as "Our hearts go out...blah blah blah We must pray." Most of them said something about praying in this time of need...pray to who? I am no one to judge, but I will pray to the one true God, but what about those folks who do not believe in Him, who do they pray to? Well, they only seem to utter that word when something terrible and heart-breaking happens. Oh, just because some wealthy, famous person said something...it moves me...deeply. HA. It's like when you walk into the library, there's huge posters of celebrities holding copies of classic novels (which they probably have never read themselves) to get the idea into the minds of the general public that reading is cool. I think not. Yes, I do think reading is very cool and worthwhile, but not because some hotshot celebrity is holding a book in a picture. Naivety anyone?

How are we suppose to be safe in this world? How do we keep our kids safe? Well, there is no one fail-safe way. Swing sets are too dangerous for school playgrounds so they were banned in Oregon...but one example of our ridiculous world. Kids don't know how to have fun anymore. Perhaps they are too afraid to, but that is a topic for another time. Good people will do nothing and thus evil will flourish.

All this to say...menaces are among us...in our neighborhoods, schools, churches, camps, households, cities, our countries. Some are very much aware and in turn are identified and in the case of people, may be locked up, but many, the most dangerous...are unaware...until they become aware. That is the scariest thing in my mind. The 20-year-old who shot the 20 children at Sandy Hook Elementary had 20 years under his belt...until he became aware, in an attempt to become famous after death? Well, as Mr. Freeman said, the media made it so that someone else can top it. Emotions run wild in this time of need. How do we respond to crisis? Well, we have become complacent...until something terrible happens, and then we utter the prayer word.

Heal our land Lord, and when the next menace surfaces, give us the wisdom and courage to do what is right. Let us stand against these menaces unawares. Rather than merely report savages and cringe tragedies, let us "abhor what is evil, and cling...CLING...to what is good."

(**First written & published on December 15, 2012**)

**REVISITATION**

"Cling to what is good." The term 'cling' is a powerful one. It means to hold on to, never let go, grasp, clutch like a leach. "Abhor what is evil." Evil is distasteful and leaves a bad taste in your mouth...and it rots those who were once good. But alas, what or who is good? God alone. The Father is the only good this world will ever see. Jesus said, "No one is good but God alone." The truth of the matter is that we are all capable of evil. We have a sinful nature. We are born sinners. The school shooters, the terrorists behind the attacks, the thieves and murderers among us...they are all human. They were born and had a mother and a father. I'm not saying their lives were perfect and their families loved them, but they are human. Crimes against humanity? Well, that would be a crime against yourself.

It really boils down to the matter of what we ought to dwell on. These people want us to dwell on them, but they must be forgotten. We must remember those who perished, remember their good acts and their loving lives. We must mourn, even in a country that disgraces mourning. But we must also remember...Many countries mourn for a long time. They cry out and grieve. This is odd to Americans because in this country it is "pull yourself together. Pull yourself up by your bootstrap and move on." We are a go, go, go culture that we have no time to mourn the loss. Jesus himself told us on the mount: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." His words are words of promise. He never lies. His words provide comfort. Let us mourn, we will be comforted...

There is another side of Grief
Where the tears still flow
not as often
Where memories bring smiles
not just sadnes
Where blessing are recognized
not just struggles
Where joy and peace are present
not just sorrow
Where you are remembered
not just mourned

"Loss of Life, Eternity Gained" Revisited

Seven years I wrote the following about a friend who unexpectedly went Home after an accident. He is truly alive in Christ per his motto...

Last night I received ill news about a friend of mine. His name is Jared Nagel. The story: On Saturday, February 2nd, while snowboarding, Jared had a freak accident. After landing wrong, Jared got up, walked to the lodge where he collapsed. He died 2 hours later. This is hard for me to type. Now Jared and I were never terribly close or anything. In fact I knew his sisters better than he. However, I knew Jared since before his birth. His family lived down the road from me when I was 2 years old. His family were great friends with mine. Now, I admit that I do not have the words to say right now. It is hard to know what to say since this happened so suddenly. I will not pretend to know what the Nagels are going through because I don't. I can't even imagine. It is difficult for me to even look at pictures of Jared now without a tear flowing.

Jared knew how to live life to the fullest. Within his 20 short years, he knew how to have fun and make people laugh. It has been said that no one could hate that kid, and I believe that to be true. For about a year or two I attended a guys accountability group hosted by Jared at his house. He was a great man of God and knew his priorities in life. Jared looked up to me as an older friend and I admired his sense of adventure and humor. I remember his mom telling me that my long hair influenced Jared to grow his hair out. What a great friend he was.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, doesn't He? This evening, I read a segment in the Devotional "Morning and Evening" by Charles H. Spurgeon on the Evening of February 4th. It was titled A Fast Road. I won't write the whole entry down, but it was talking about the cities of refuge in the Land of Canaan. Listen to Spurgeon's last words the entry: "All you need to do is touch the hem of Christ's garment and you will be made well (Matthew 9:21). If you just touch Him with "faith as a mustard seed" (Matthew 17:20), you will be safe: A little genuine grace ensures the death of all our sins. DON'T WASTE TIME. DON'T LINGER. THE AVENGER OF BLOOD IS SWIFT. HE MAY BE AT YOUR DOOR THIS EVENING."

My good friend Erik Williams put it nicely: "Life is short. even if we get 100 years on this earth. When you put it in perspective of eternity, it is nothing. Jared had maybe 20 years with us. Who knows how much time we get here. I think most of us have this mentality of, "That will never happen to me." I know I do. That makes me think about how I am living my life. How am I treating other people? How am I using my words? Am I encouraging or tearing down? What am I doing with my time? Do I have compassion for people? Am I taking advantage of talking with people about Jesus? Am I missing out on opportunities because for some reason I get nervous when I feel like the Holy Spirit wants me to talk to someone about Jesus?"

I often ask God why did He have to take someone like Jared and not someone like myself? It is a question that will go unanswered. Jared was a guy you couldn't help but fall in love with. I had a close elementary school friend die of cancer. Her name was Cassie. She was the most gentile and nice girl I ever knew, yet God took her. It was her time to go home. There was nothing to hate about her, just as there was nothing to hate about Jared. I often cry out to God and tell him I'm sorry; I'm sorry for what I've made this life; I'm sorry for spitting in your face time and time again. Why Cassie? Why Jared? Why not me?

"God has a reason for everything. He may just want Jared with Him now. I don't know. I think there are a lot of things we don't have answers for and won't have answers for while we are here on earth. I need to be OK with that. That is part of the mystery of God and part of faith."

See you shortly Jared. (I look forward to playing soccer with you on the Streets of Gold-the one place you can play in the streets!)



Pray for his family and friends and the time of mourning...Let us mourn, but let us also rejoice...

(**First written & published on February 4, 2008**)

**REVISITATION**

 Jared was one of those guys who lived life to the fullest in light of eternity. He had this motto "Alive in Christ" tattooed across his foot. No better way to express his life here on earth. Sure, we miss Jared and sure we have mourned him. But let us rejoice and let us remember his life and actions. He was a young man of God who went to be with his LORD, a place we call Home. For, this earth, our bodies we live in are only temporary earthen vessels. They are jars of clay that grow old and crack. They are tents that wear out and need patching. But when we are called Home like Jared has been seven years ago, our bodies are renewed to where they will never wear out or grow old. If we live in light of eternity, we will be truly living....alive in Christ.

Jared lost his life here on earth and gained eternity. But alas, he never lost his life. Our belief and faith in Jesus Christ prevents us from experiencing death. He had loss of life, but this life on earth is really nothing compared to eternity with our LORD. He gained eternity and soon I will see him and talk with him at the feet of Jesus.

Every time I see his brother James, I see Jared through him. He surly has his likeness. I have often done a double take. But alas, James is alive in Christ just as his brother was living, and is living...

Let us remember Jared for the amazing man he was in Jesus Christ but let us also give thanks for the legacy he left for his friends and family...let us live alive in Christ!