To Remember a Friend

Jason, this evening I stood in a circle at the top of camp where you and I greeted campers as they arrived on the buses, listening to remembrances of your life as we spread your ashes in a place where your heart truly was. I have a lot of memories with you Jason, but I only got to know you the last 5 years of your life here on earth. Those 5 years will remain special. For every friendship you made was special. You knew how to love and how to care and make others feel loved. Listening to your family and close friends who knew you growing up, I couldn't help but wish I knew you earlier. But the Lord knows what He is doing when he puts people in each other's lives when He does and I will forever be grateful of that.

I have never been very great at making friends but you loved me as a brother and I miss that kind of friendship immensely. As I walk through this world and see activity on social media and witness encounters and conversations, it seems to me that generally speaking, people don't know how to love. This world is in a rush and they just want to get where they are going with no care about those around them. They waltz around like they are the center of the universe with no ears for others. That's what happens mostly. Then comes someone like you Jason. You knew how to love. You provided me with a new perspective on life. Those five years I knew you, I became a better person for it. I miss you and wish I knew more with your attitude about life. Then it hits me...what if I became that person? What kind of friend am I to others? The perspective you offered makes me wonder...wonder a lot. What am I doing with my life? How am I doing life? What will my legacy be like? What will I leave behind? How will I be remembered?

As I drove home this evening, I saw your memories through the beautiful sunset (while trying not to get blinded) on the horizon. Memories from camp, memories from La Perla, Gov Cup and hanging out...of road trips and conversations and watching cartoons. One memory stands out at camp: It was the summer where archery instructors had to be 21 or older and you and I had to teach archery pretty much all summer. One day at the end of the activity, you called over to me on the other side of the creek, "Wooly, I shot a shrew!" I was like, "What? What did you shoot?" as I slowly walked over to you across the creek. You took me to the hay bales and sure enough, you pulled out an arrow that had impaled a tiny mouse. "What do I do?" I wasn't sure either. No campers were around, so we decided to fling the little guy into the forest and call it a funeral. We wiped the blood from the arrow and walked back to camp.

Also, who can forget our bus buddies? You and I were the camp bus buddies! I'm not really sure how it started, but I remember us just walking over to the bus entrance to get away from the other staff who were normally talking stupid. So we would have our own pow wows in the morning while throwing rocks at the little reflectors across the way. Sometimes Salamander would join us, but we wouldn't allow anyone else. We had an alliance, you and I and it was a special one. We soon realized that the bus buddy program would die if we both left, so we created a written quiz. We had to make it difficult to weed out the dumb ones. Thus we put questions like, draw your favorite animal noise and what are some appropriate and inappropriate bus buddy conversation topics and what's your favorite camp song since we both were very opinionated when it came to that. Ah, the bus buddies. I look forward to the day I arrive in Heaven on a big yellow bus and I look out the window and see you and Jesus waving to me.

I remember the late night I had to pick my parents up from the airport and asked you to come with me. You jumped at the opportunity and we bonded over that trip. Ah the memories Jason. I remember the first time I met you...Family Work Camp 2006, right before we worked together that summer. I think you were teaching me the game of Flux or something. Shortly after this, you introduced me to your good friend Caleb. Ah, the good times indeed. I take heart in the fact that I will see you and talk to you soon and we will have good times...alas, better times again...

And lastly, of course we wanted to start our own camp together. Everyone else who I have mentioned this to looks at me weird or says some comment or just thinks I'm nuts. I have not yet met someone else to assist me in this endeavor, another partner-in-crime, but my journey continues. You can never be replaced, but I love the idea of doing this in your honor. Camp ministry was your heart as it is mine. That is a passion we shared. It is my hope and earnest prayer that we will see the bearing for fruit from this adventure.

You are gone from this planet, but never forgotten...

I will lament, the tears will periodically flow, but your strength and the memories you have left will remain...until I too am called Home.

"Menace Unaware" Revisited

"A Revisit to a tragic lament..."

Morgan Freeman's statement about these random shootings....

"You want to know why. This may sound cynical, but here's why.

It's because of the way the media reports it. Flip on the news and watch how we treat the Batman theater shooter and the Oregon mall shooter like celebrities. Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris are household names, but do you know the name of a single victim of Columbine? Disturbed people who would otherwise just off themselves in their basements see the news and want to top it by doing something worse, and going out in a memorable way. Why a grade school? Why children? Because he'll be remembered as a horrible monster, instead of a sad nobody.

CNN's article says that if the body count "holds up", this will rank as the second deadliest shooting behind Virginia Tech, as if statistics somehow make one shooting worse than another. Then they post a video interview of third-graders for all the details of what they saw and heard while the shootings were happening. Fox News has plastered the killer's face on all their reports for hours. Any articles or news stories yet that focus on the victims and ignore the killer's identity? None that I've seen yet. Because they don't sell. So congratulations, sensationalist media, you've just lit the fire for someone to top this and knock off a day care center or a maternity ward next.

You can help by forgetting you ever read this man's name, and remembering the name of at least one victim. You can help by donating to mental health research instead of pointing to gun control as the problem."

This man's words are so in tune with my own thoughts. I have watched the media coverage of the school shooting in Conneticut as well as the mall shooting in Portland, Oregon and in addition many may not know of the stabbing spree at a school in central China. There was also a threat of another school shooting that would happen on December 21st, the supposed date of the end of the world according to the Mayan calendar. How do we make sense of these happenings? Well, first of all, do we have to? The way I see it, there really is no clear explanation. There is no way to make sense. Yah, police and authorities conduct investigations and try to determine the motive, but how much does the motive matter? Will that really prevent another killer to storm a public square or school heavily armed? More importantly, will that bring back the lives of the victims? No, of course not.

As a friend of mine put it:

"As I too tried to make sense of today's entirely evil tragedy, I thought of two things. The first is this, "Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good." The second thing I pondered was how many people would say, "Next time one of these (insert any profanity you would like) decides to shoot some people I hope they just save us the trouble and kill themselves." I would like to stand against that mentality. I DO STAND AGAINST IT. Hate upon hate is not where we will find an answer to these atrocities. Instead I want to say, do say, and will say in Jesus' name, "I love you. Next time one of you wants to shoot someone, shoot me. I'll die for you." Only real, true, self-denying love will bring us any relief from the torent of evil which we find ourselves, our friends, and our children facing far too often these days."

I will stand with you.

"The nation of Israel has armed its teachers to protect their children and America has disarmed theirs." That is but one of the hundreds of posts on facebook that was released after the Sandy Hook massacre. Where there is some truth to these posts, I don't necessarily agree with the idea of sharing them with the whole online community. Sure, some things need to be said, but others need to be kept to yourself. The news media does similar things. After terrorist bombings and attacks such as 9/11, the media all but gave us the materials for bomb making. There is a line that must be drawn between reporting the news and retorting the news. Also, what some may deem "newsworthy" may not be. The shooting in Connecticut will be on the news and will be talked about for months to come, and yes, it must not be forgotten, I mean, we still hear about 9/11 which happened 11 years ago. However, let us forget about the killer(s), and rather, as Mr. Freeman pointed out, let us remember the victims and move on in light of recent happenings. I have refrained from joining the majority and posting yet another post on Facebook to the tune of "our hearts are broken," "gun control laws are not strict enough," "I cannot even imagine..." I am not making fun mind you. On the contrary, tears of anger and sadness welled in my eyes as I flipped from channel to channel reporting the tragedy on the east coast. I have no kids of my own, but I do have two nieces the ages of some of the victims and have worked with children of all ages for the past 16 years. So in light of recent events, I choose not to waste my energy to make sense of this. Some people say we now live in Hell. But I will say, we live on earth and that is where evil flourishes. Hell is not a place of evil. Hell is a place where people who deny Jesus Christ will end up, whether they are evil or not. I have also heard it said that "God is not allowed in schools, therefore He cannot influence the education system," or something to that effect. That is a bunch of rubbish. Nowhere has prayer been banned nor has God been banned. Did you even listen to that? God created the world, why would He create some place that He cannot enter? He was with me in public school and I prayed in public school. Sure, the system or government can use words to say we cannot pray or don't want religious activities to take place, but really, how do they monitor prayer without mind control technology? This is just laughable stuff.

Who are we to decide who should live and die? Do we deserve to die? Do killers deserve to die? Do schoolchildren deserve to die? The answer to both is yes. Both are human and that is a part of the human condition. The fact is the wages of sin, evildoings is death, but alas, we have a God who cares for us and does not want to see us die so He offered His Son in our place so we do not have to perish. Is man basically good or bad? Well, the answer if you have read your Bible is that man is basically bad. We all have the capacity for murder and we all have the capacity for kindness. But Jesus said it Himself, "No one is good but God alone." Yes there are people who believe that man is good until corrupted by society. My own brother denies the fact of a sin nature. This is not to say that we should all just give up and give in to what will happen. Yes, there are things we can do to take action and better prepare ourselves, but dang it...it is not God's fault that gunmen enter schools and theaters and kill innocent victims. For in the bigger scheme of things, no one is innocent. But we all live here together...maybe not in harmony, but we all live here in this vapor of a life.

Do I have an answer to make sense of all these things? No...I just know how to express my thoughts and leave it to others to form their own opinions and allegations. Too much time is spent questioning and too little time is spent living. I am as guilty as anyone. The meaning of most things, especially sacred things has been forgotten, diluted or misrepresented. This Christmas season is a perfect example...even to the extent that the government refers to Christmas trees as "holiday trees." Happy Holidays. Really? Who really says that about any other holiday? Labor Day? Memorial Day? Easter? Valentines' Day? Even secular tv shows that promote homosexuality, immoral acts, bullying, school and government corruption use Christmas songs with no clue of what the lyrics refer to such as First Noel, O Holy Night, etc. I was watching the news last night when Entertainment Tonight began with the report of the recent school shooting. I thought, why is an entertainment show reporting this? Well then it came. Several celebrities were reported as having "tweeted" or "facebooked" different comments as "Our hearts go out...blah blah blah We must pray." Most of them said something about praying in this time of need...pray to who? I am no one to judge, but I will pray to the one true God, but what about those folks who do not believe in Him, who do they pray to? Well, they only seem to utter that word when something terrible and heart-breaking happens. Oh, just because some wealthy, famous person said something...it moves me...deeply. HA. It's like when you walk into the library, there's huge posters of celebrities holding copies of classic novels (which they probably have never read themselves) to get the idea into the minds of the general public that reading is cool. I think not. Yes, I do think reading is very cool and worthwhile, but not because some hotshot celebrity is holding a book in a picture. Naivety anyone?

How are we suppose to be safe in this world? How do we keep our kids safe? Well, there is no one fail-safe way. Swing sets are too dangerous for school playgrounds so they were banned in Oregon...but one example of our ridiculous world. Kids don't know how to have fun anymore. Perhaps they are too afraid to, but that is a topic for another time. Good people will do nothing and thus evil will flourish.

All this to say...menaces are among us...in our neighborhoods, schools, churches, camps, households, cities, our countries. Some are very much aware and in turn are identified and in the case of people, may be locked up, but many, the most dangerous...are unaware...until they become aware. That is the scariest thing in my mind. The 20-year-old who shot the 20 children at Sandy Hook Elementary had 20 years under his belt...until he became aware, in an attempt to become famous after death? Well, as Mr. Freeman said, the media made it so that someone else can top it. Emotions run wild in this time of need. How do we respond to crisis? Well, we have become complacent...until something terrible happens, and then we utter the prayer word.

Heal our land Lord, and when the next menace surfaces, give us the wisdom and courage to do what is right. Let us stand against these menaces unawares. Rather than merely report savages and cringe tragedies, let us "abhor what is evil, and cling...CLING...to what is good."

(**First written & published on December 15, 2012**)

**REVISITATION**

"Cling to what is good." The term 'cling' is a powerful one. It means to hold on to, never let go, grasp, clutch like a leach. "Abhor what is evil." Evil is distasteful and leaves a bad taste in your mouth...and it rots those who were once good. But alas, what or who is good? God alone. The Father is the only good this world will ever see. Jesus said, "No one is good but God alone." The truth of the matter is that we are all capable of evil. We have a sinful nature. We are born sinners. The school shooters, the terrorists behind the attacks, the thieves and murderers among us...they are all human. They were born and had a mother and a father. I'm not saying their lives were perfect and their families loved them, but they are human. Crimes against humanity? Well, that would be a crime against yourself.

It really boils down to the matter of what we ought to dwell on. These people want us to dwell on them, but they must be forgotten. We must remember those who perished, remember their good acts and their loving lives. We must mourn, even in a country that disgraces mourning. But we must also remember...Many countries mourn for a long time. They cry out and grieve. This is odd to Americans because in this country it is "pull yourself together. Pull yourself up by your bootstrap and move on." We are a go, go, go culture that we have no time to mourn the loss. Jesus himself told us on the mount: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." His words are words of promise. He never lies. His words provide comfort. Let us mourn, we will be comforted...

There is another side of Grief
Where the tears still flow
not as often
Where memories bring smiles
not just sadnes
Where blessing are recognized
not just struggles
Where joy and peace are present
not just sorrow
Where you are remembered
not just mourned

"Loss of Life, Eternity Gained" Revisited

Seven years I wrote the following about a friend who unexpectedly went Home after an accident. He is truly alive in Christ per his motto...

Last night I received ill news about a friend of mine. His name is Jared Nagel. The story: On Saturday, February 2nd, while snowboarding, Jared had a freak accident. After landing wrong, Jared got up, walked to the lodge where he collapsed. He died 2 hours later. This is hard for me to type. Now Jared and I were never terribly close or anything. In fact I knew his sisters better than he. However, I knew Jared since before his birth. His family lived down the road from me when I was 2 years old. His family were great friends with mine. Now, I admit that I do not have the words to say right now. It is hard to know what to say since this happened so suddenly. I will not pretend to know what the Nagels are going through because I don't. I can't even imagine. It is difficult for me to even look at pictures of Jared now without a tear flowing.

Jared knew how to live life to the fullest. Within his 20 short years, he knew how to have fun and make people laugh. It has been said that no one could hate that kid, and I believe that to be true. For about a year or two I attended a guys accountability group hosted by Jared at his house. He was a great man of God and knew his priorities in life. Jared looked up to me as an older friend and I admired his sense of adventure and humor. I remember his mom telling me that my long hair influenced Jared to grow his hair out. What a great friend he was.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, doesn't He? This evening, I read a segment in the Devotional "Morning and Evening" by Charles H. Spurgeon on the Evening of February 4th. It was titled A Fast Road. I won't write the whole entry down, but it was talking about the cities of refuge in the Land of Canaan. Listen to Spurgeon's last words the entry: "All you need to do is touch the hem of Christ's garment and you will be made well (Matthew 9:21). If you just touch Him with "faith as a mustard seed" (Matthew 17:20), you will be safe: A little genuine grace ensures the death of all our sins. DON'T WASTE TIME. DON'T LINGER. THE AVENGER OF BLOOD IS SWIFT. HE MAY BE AT YOUR DOOR THIS EVENING."

My good friend Erik Williams put it nicely: "Life is short. even if we get 100 years on this earth. When you put it in perspective of eternity, it is nothing. Jared had maybe 20 years with us. Who knows how much time we get here. I think most of us have this mentality of, "That will never happen to me." I know I do. That makes me think about how I am living my life. How am I treating other people? How am I using my words? Am I encouraging or tearing down? What am I doing with my time? Do I have compassion for people? Am I taking advantage of talking with people about Jesus? Am I missing out on opportunities because for some reason I get nervous when I feel like the Holy Spirit wants me to talk to someone about Jesus?"

I often ask God why did He have to take someone like Jared and not someone like myself? It is a question that will go unanswered. Jared was a guy you couldn't help but fall in love with. I had a close elementary school friend die of cancer. Her name was Cassie. She was the most gentile and nice girl I ever knew, yet God took her. It was her time to go home. There was nothing to hate about her, just as there was nothing to hate about Jared. I often cry out to God and tell him I'm sorry; I'm sorry for what I've made this life; I'm sorry for spitting in your face time and time again. Why Cassie? Why Jared? Why not me?

"God has a reason for everything. He may just want Jared with Him now. I don't know. I think there are a lot of things we don't have answers for and won't have answers for while we are here on earth. I need to be OK with that. That is part of the mystery of God and part of faith."

See you shortly Jared. (I look forward to playing soccer with you on the Streets of Gold-the one place you can play in the streets!)



Pray for his family and friends and the time of mourning...Let us mourn, but let us also rejoice...

(**First written & published on February 4, 2008**)

**REVISITATION**

 Jared was one of those guys who lived life to the fullest in light of eternity. He had this motto "Alive in Christ" tattooed across his foot. No better way to express his life here on earth. Sure, we miss Jared and sure we have mourned him. But let us rejoice and let us remember his life and actions. He was a young man of God who went to be with his LORD, a place we call Home. For, this earth, our bodies we live in are only temporary earthen vessels. They are jars of clay that grow old and crack. They are tents that wear out and need patching. But when we are called Home like Jared has been seven years ago, our bodies are renewed to where they will never wear out or grow old. If we live in light of eternity, we will be truly living....alive in Christ.

Jared lost his life here on earth and gained eternity. But alas, he never lost his life. Our belief and faith in Jesus Christ prevents us from experiencing death. He had loss of life, but this life on earth is really nothing compared to eternity with our LORD. He gained eternity and soon I will see him and talk with him at the feet of Jesus.

Every time I see his brother James, I see Jared through him. He surly has his likeness. I have often done a double take. But alas, James is alive in Christ just as his brother was living, and is living...

Let us remember Jared for the amazing man he was in Jesus Christ but let us also give thanks for the legacy he left for his friends and family...let us live alive in Christ!

"A Story of a Puppy Girl" Revisted

Allow me to tell you a story of a boy and his dog.

It all began many years ago when the boy found out he was getting a puppy. His family may have wondered how this puppy will interact with the two cats that already roamed the house. When the pup who was a mixture between a Border Collie and a Springer Spaniel came home from the farm where she was born she didn't know what to do. She was confused. She was small and cuddly. Because of her white side and black side on her nose, she was called Half and Half. That is what we called her until the boy (with some suggestions) decided what to name her. She was purchased/born in August just as the boy was (for it was a special birthday present). So one of the names that was thrown around was Augie. With the help of the boy's mother, she was eventually name Kissi after a tribe in West Africa. A variety of nicknames followed such as Kissi Willow, Kissi Doogoo.

As the puppy grew up she found this house to be her home quickly and the humans who lived there her family. She grew to love this family and the family took her to obedience school which she did really well at but decided to forget everything she was taught there. She devoured everything in sight, paper, dog food, protected her food from the cats when she ate. She ran to the door whenever she heard the slightest sound and jumped all over anyone who walked through the door because she knew that everyone who came to the house was there to see her of course! She was very fast. Whenever the boy's father took her for walks in the morning she would pull him...she would take HIM for walks! She enjoyed life. She would run and play in the sun in summer and wonder what the white stuff falling from the sky was in the winter. She jumped for the rope, ran after all sorts of balls and frisbees and went camping and hiking with her family. She loved this life.

At home...this was HER domain. She protected the yard from giant squirrels even though she may be afraid...she would bark the other dogs in other yards, chase the birds away and dig under fences and steal out of the compost when no one was looking. In the house she would love to dig through the bathroom garbage can and when the cats where alive steal "kitty sausages." She would eat anything and everything. She stole a few Christmas decorations and chewed up wood and rocks and dirt. Early in the morning she would wake up and go for a walk with her father and come home and run down he hall into the boy's room to wake him up...often jumping up on his bed to snuggle with him until the boy woke up. She was a very loyal dog. In the living room she would become a lap dog and snuggle with the boy whom she called another puppy and mom and dad on the couch and futon and fall fast asleep. Whenever someone picked up the compost basket she ran and yelped towards the back door. She hated taking baths. She would run away and hide underneath the futon. That was one of her spots for a long time. She did not like water unless she was drinking it...thirsty girl dog!

Some of the house sitters she enjoyed, but some she would not cooperate with. The boy had a sister who yelled at the dog and a brother who would push her away...but she would always remain faithful to the boy and put her head into his lap and have her ears rubbed and belly scratched...the boy always knew the right spot where to scratch her. Occasionally the dog would snarl, unless it was the father cause they had a strict relationship. The boy would always look forward to coming home to see his dog waiting for him. The would snuggle on the couch and wrestle on the floor.

This story is a true story and I am the boy, and because that is the case, the following is very hard to write...if this were parchment, it would be hard to read due to the tear drops on each page:

The dog grew older and lost her hearing almost completely. She began to limp and had arthritis in her back legs which made it very difficult to jump up on things like the couch. Time passed and she lost weight and did not eat. She didn't know what to do. She was confused. She shook with pain...until 5:00pm on Wednesday, March 24, 2010...after about 15 years of loving life with her family...I miss you soo much Kissi

(**First written & published on March 30, 2010**)

**REVISITATION**

It's funny how animals, pets become apart of the family...never to be forgotten. Yes, they are not people and thus the grief looks differently. However, with dogs there is a reason they are called man's best friend. They are loyal unlike the loyalty of humans. Dogs are smarter than you give them credit for. I miss having a pet. When Kissi was put down, that was the first moment I had been left without a pet in my life and haven't had one since. All I have now are pictures, a few short videos and countless memories that will last the ages. Do dogs go to heaven? Well honestly it doesn't matter. Whereas we do miss our pets, not like we miss our brothers and sisters when they pass, they don't possess a soul and the ability to reason. Therefore, when we get to heaven, we will be preoccupied with the worship of our Lord. Alas, I miss you pup and your sibling cats Obadiah and Jubal...we had good times, good memories, good laughs, good cuddles, good walks, good riots all around! Keep dreaming about squirrels...

"An Ode to Jason Taylor" Revisited

**It has been 3.5 years since my good friend Jason Taylor went home to be with his King. With the passing of time, it doesn't get any easier. Grief comes and goes. But the happy thought remains that I will see him soon and we will be reunited together with the Saints and Jesus Christ. Perhaps we'll watch heavenly cartoons or shoot flaming arrows while the harps play. I don't know. But I do know this: I miss you Jason and we will talk soon brother!**

Four days ago saw the passing of a very good friend of mine. Today is his birthday. I would like to celebrate his life with this limerick:

When I first met the man Jason Taylor in the spring of Two Thousand and Six, I was blessed to say the very least.

He made me laugh and I did likewise. He was an amazing addition to the summer staff of Canyonview Camp.

We formed a quick bond with one another because we had a lot in common. We possessed some of the same goals.

He was widely known as TROGDOR THE BURNiNATOR around day camp. The kids loved this gentle giant.

After each week of camp, we would often travel to Applebees and he and I would bond over $2 chips and salsa.

I instantly came to know that this man of God knew how to have fun and benefited camp in many ways.

Jason and I, being two of the staff over the age of 21 were assigned to instruct archery week after week.

We both became quick the excellent archers and as young warriors, would discuss our adventures come day's end.

One hot summer day, during activity time, Trogdor yelled to me across Drift Creek needing my help with something.

As I leapt across the creek, he led me to his archery site and there he showed me a little shrew on an arrow.

He asked me what to do and as we looked at the bloody arrow and the suffering shrew, we scratched our heads in awe.

As a family of little mice made a quick exodus out of the hay bales, in the end we flung the stabbed shrew into the forest.

As a storyteller, I toyed with the idea of placing Jason as the razor-back gorilla in the Adventures of Daredevil Dan.

I believe he even assisted us once using a gorilla mask. He was always was willing to create a fun time for the kids.

One night I asked Jason to go with me to PDX to pick up my parents and he was willing which provided an extra bond.

Before the summer at outdoor ed. I bonded with The Raven (Caleb Crossman, Jason's close friend) over sticky grass.

Sticky grass was few and far between the banks of the creek and is very useful for constructing creek boats.

Because of this and the usefulness of said grass, was born the legend of the sticky grass.

Together, Caleb and I shared our newfound glory and awe of sticky grass with Jason and had many a good laugh.

Jason and I also had a good laugh because his Trogdor was burninating my Wooly Mammoth on the bottom.

Although we grew close throughout the summer of 2006 and shared many adventures, perhaps the first bond for us was in the form of bus buddies. Together, we were camp's bus buddies. I created the bus buddy program to inform the day camp children of the coming excitement that is camp! The concept was simple, two of us would stand near the bus entrance and wave the buses in as soon as the yellow was spotted. We were the first they saw of camp and quickly became a staple of the day camp program. We were the first impression and together, with the rest of the staff, the last thing they saw when they left at the end of the day. Since summer 2006 was to be my last summer at Canyonview, we decided to create a test for others to complete to become a bus buddy. We were very proud of the test that we wrote, but unfortunately it was not much of a success. The following is the test:

"If you think you're qualified to be a bus buddy fill out this simple test and e-mail it to both WOOLY MAMMOTH and TROGDOR the BURNiNATOR and we will decide whether or not you're worthy."

Name:__________________________ Animal Name:________________________

IQ:_______________________ Favorite Camp Story:____________________________

1. Draw a diagram of the bus waving area, label where you will stand while waiting for the bus as well as where you will stand while you are waving.

2. List 5 appropriate bus waving area conversation topics.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

3. List 5 inappropriate bus waving area conversation topics.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

4. What is your favorite color?

5. What are your 3 favorite camp songs?

1.

2.

3.

6. What is your least favorite camp song?

7. If, you could have one super power what would it be?

8. What is your favorite camp activity?

9. What is your favorite non-camp activity?

10. Draw your favorite animal noise

11. What’s your favorite camp food?

12. On a separate sheet of paper draw a diagram of your waving style. (Use at least 5 figures and explain each one.)

13. If Chuck Norris and Godzilla got into a fight who would win? Describe the situation.

14. What is your favorite letter of the English alphabet

15. Draw your favorite scent.

16. What do you want to be if you grow up?

Although the test was a failure because most viewed it as a joke, there was one who was worthy. He came in the form of Mosquito (John Freidrick). John and Jason became the successors of the bus buddy program. Jason left Canyonview in 2008 and John a few years later. The bus buddy program is a thing of the past, or at least the original one is. Nevertheless, the memories remain and I often think about the great times that Jason and I had on the mornings of day camp throwing rocks at reflectors and trees, discussing issues at camp, talking with Salamander (Neil Langsather) when he would walk down our way for a visit, and of course waving the busses into the entrance. We gave them direction and excitement. The one week I was asked to counsel at horse camp separated us two bus buddies and Jason was left to do the task alone with Neil and Caleb helping occasionally. This week was a difficult one because how dare they separate the bus buddies? I did my share of visiting and we were an encouragement to one another. May the bus buddy program live on in the hearts of camping professionals.

January 2007, during a T.I.M. retreat weekend, was my last hurrah as a Canyonview staffer. In February, on the eve of my departure to Colorado for which would be the vast majority of 2007, Jason and I hung out with Timber Tiger (Ally Kohanek/now Heenan) our mutual friend and camp staffer. It was at this meeting that our thoughts moved to camp...camping in general. This was after a summer of adventures and misadventures. We realized we had so much in common as it relates to camp ministry. The ministry that the camping world brings has meant so much to the both of us. It was at this meeting that we orally declared to one another that we ought to start a camp. We temporarily referred to it as "Camp Awesome." As I left for another camp in Colorado to teach outdoor education and gain more camp experience and knowledge, I kept in touch with Jason and we discussed our newly found aspiration of starting a camp. Every moment that went by I got more and more excited for this opportunity. This dream was bigger than the both of us. While in Colorado, I shared this dream with several people, a few of which became excited for me and I gained some friends who were committed or willing to help me out with this endeavor. In October of that year, I reunited with an old friend (Dale Russell a.k.a. Chip from Canyonview) after about a 5 or 6 year absence. I recruited him to come and work at the Colorado camp as an instructor. He too was excited about this camp opportunity and stated he was willing to help out as well. This did not come as a surprise because years earlier he and I expressed interest in starting some sort of a camp or youth ministry center.

When I returned to Oregon in November 2007 I was glad to be back and share my experiences with Jason and to once again continue our discussion of starting a camp. That school year we hung out quite a lot here and there and discussed "Camp Awesome" whenever we could. I was always in deep thought about it. What should we name it? What will the funding be like? What about programs? Where should we start it? How about staffing? What's the mission of our camp? What are we going to accomplish by starting yet another camp? How is our camp going to be different? And from here to there, there were people I met and shared this dream with that became interested and a few shared my enthusiasm and joy of camping to the extent of wanting to help out wherever they could. I began to form a list of people and friends who became interested, a list of supporters/investors as it were. Summer 2008 Jason continued for a third and final summer at Canyonview Camp while I served at my third camp which was in the Seattle area. When I returned in August, I visited Canyonview for a day and fellowshipped with Jason and the other staff. The school year 2008-2009 brought me back to Salem with a part-time childcare job which, under the circumstances created a lot of free time and I was able to meet and talk with Jason when time allowed.

Jason was a faithful man devoted to the service of God and his countenance was always full of humor and joy. As my friend Caleb Crossman has said, "Good people are missed when they're gone because they brighten up this dark world a little. Jason Richard Taylor was daylight." He was truly daylight and he brought joy to others around him.

Jason and I shared another passion and that was the written word, reading and writing. We were both well read and both aspiring authors. He however beat me in the book game having written a book almost to completion. We would browse books in the Book Bin and he would point out some good reads. He introduced me to the Gov. Cup Coffee Roasters in downtown Salem. He often went there after work and worked on his laptop. Occasionally I would meet him there in the afternoon and we would hang out and discuss camp, life in general, writing, and '90s cartoons in which we were both very fond of (i.e. Ducktales, Darkwing Duck, Talespin, Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers - we even drove out to camp to watch Darkwing Duck in Fir Lodge one weekend. In a recent conversation he had mentioned that we should live next to each other in years to come so that our children can grow up watching the same awesome cartoons that we were accustomed to). Often we would depart the Gov. Cup and walk towards the Reed Opera House where we would eat at La Perla, a small Mexican restaurant that served $1 tacos. These tacos (actually 99 cents) were very good being very cheap. We would often eat here and discuss camp-related topics as we look out the window at the passing traffic and as the sun set. When I return to Salem, one of the first things I will do is go to the Gov. Cup and La Perla in Jason's honor. We would often eat at La Perla when I would come home from a camp I was away at.

As with most of the camps I have worked for, I met a few good friends at a camp in Indiana summer 2009 who shared my passion for camp ministry and became great resources. In the spring of 2010, I was blessed to become one of Jason's roommates in Keizer. It was here where I began to share and admire Jason's passion for video games. I was especially fond of "Left for Dead" because I enjoyed blowing up zombies. I played a lot of "Resident Evil 4" in college while listening to Disney music. You would've had to been there. Anyway, it was great to be Jason's roommate because it provided extra time for us to talk about starting a camp. A few months later we ate at La Perla and hung out one last time in the Gov. Cup before I left for a year-long leadership program in Wisconsin. During this time, we were going to schedule a skype "get together/hang out/talk" (I don't think guys use the term 'date'), but that never ended up happening. At the beginning of July while in Houston, I heard the ill news that Jason was rushed to the hospital due to respiratory heart problems. This pained me to hear but for some reason, I was not too worried because I knew Jason was a fighter and I had faith that he would soon snap out it. Nevertheless, I earnestly prayed for his healing. I thought for sure our prayers were being answered when Jason was able to go home and talk for himself online. In fact, it was about the first of August that I talked to him on facebook chat. He wanted to say hello and I asked how he was feeling. He was doing much better, not out of the woods yet, but much better. I told him I was probably coming back to Oregon in a few weeks after 14 months away. This excited him as he said, "good, so then we can finally talk" (I knew he was referring to our camp). I agreed and then we parted ways again.

Two days later on the afternoon of August 3, 2011 when I received the Caring Bridge message that Jason passed sometime in the night, I had to reread it because the first time it did not make sense. I had to read it a third time because I did not believe what it was saying. In fact, I almost refused to believe it. This cannot be. What happened? He was so young. There was so much left in his life, so much that he wished to do or try. He wanted to advertise his computer repair business and limited car repair. He aspired to travel to South Korea and teach English to help pay off debt. He even thought about getting his pilot's license to fly small aircraft. He desired to finish and publish his book and most likely to continue his writing career. And, of course he aspired and dreamed to start a camp ministry with me. Jason had a huge heart and yet it was weakened in the end, just shy of his 30th birthday.

If this was parchment, there would be tear stains upon it. Jason was a very close friend of mine that I dearly loved and admired. He taught me so much. He was a philosopher of the greatest order and was a hilarious comedian whose humor will live on. I did not and still do not quite know what to make of this event. He was robbed from me...and not just me but his dear family and friends who called him brother and son. Three months prior I lost, alas, the world lost a great friend and mentor and then the Lord decides to throw this curveball at me. I understand that his time was up here on earth. His purpose was completed because otherwise he would still be among us. But I do not know why his time was up. It just does not make sense. I suppose it is not supposed to. I have been asking what God is teaching through this. What does He want me to learn? My time on this planet continues. I still have a purpose that must be fulfilled. I suppose, though it be excruciatingly difficult, I must trust and obey, though I trust and believe without sight Jason was truly one of the best friends this world could offer. For years we talked about starting a camp together. This was a dream we both shared. This is still my dream and I have vowed to do my best to make it a reality in Jason's memory. He will forever be in my thoughts. This is a very grievous time. But it does not have to be. It is also a very exciting time. I know he is in a better place and for that I am envious.

"Jason, some day a bus will arrive in Heaven with me on it and I will look out the window and see you beside the King waving! Only then will we be reunited and become roommates once again."

Jason Taylor was a man of great valor and the five years I knew him were days blessed.

Jason, this is for you...

Revelation 21: 1-7

 1 Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,”[a] for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. 2 I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[b] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

 5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

 6 He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. 7 Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.

Matthew 25:23

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'"

I can only imagine Jason Richard Taylor dressed in his finest attire approaching the throne of grace while His Majesty, the King on High declares, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

See you soon brother...

(**First written & published on August 7, 2011**)

**REVISITATION**

Jason, I have not yet started a camp, but that dream is still kindling within my mind. It has been on the back burner for the last 3.5 years. That is to say a partner like you has not stood up yet. Everything is the Lord's...the earth and everything in it. Everything must happen in His timing. My goals are not His goals and my plans are not His plans, but I ask and I pray that my dreams become His dreams! I want to do this not only in honor of you Jason, but do what we set out to do...create a camp worthy of and in honor of Jesus Christ our LORD.

This last summer I went on a bicycle journey down the Pacific Coast to try to raise funds for the start of our camp, but that seemed to fail miserably. No one donated except one person, my aunt. Nevertheless, it was a great adventure and did you know you joined me on the adventure? You did, in the form of a Homestar Runner patch. Your mom wanted to give me something to take with me that belonged to you. Unfortunately, the patch did not return with me. I looked long and hard upon my return, but alas, your patch wanted to stay behind on the road! Maybe that's a symbol of something...

Jason, I only knew you for the last few years of your life, but those years were wonderful by your side. We talked, we laughed, we fought and we cried. Perhaps no one else I have really felt such a bond with. Sometimes I feel alone in our camp endeavor. Without you, I don't seem to be progressing much. I sent my dream camp paper to someone I've never met, but is a mutual friend in North Dakota. He was very interested and claims to "make things happen." I don't know what that quite means, but any interest I will pounce on. Most people just seem to want to "support," which is fine and all because we need prayer warriors, but no one wants to get their hands dirty and actually assist getting something off the ground. I hear this a lot: "Once you start a camp, I'll want to help." Once you start...I don't want to do the hard dirty work, that's for you...it's a frustration. But alas, I cannot give up or give in. Only in God's timing...

I miss you Jason and I hope any who read this will be encouraged by your memory!